His Final Days
by babyphd
Summary: Jed is dying eighteeen months after the end of his Presidency. Part 1 of the Hard Times series.
1. Chapter 1

Series: Hard Times

Title: His Final Days (Part 1)

Characters: Jed/ Abbey, everybody

Warning: MAJOR character death –YOU ARE WARNED.

Spoiler: "Abu El Banat"

Category: Major Angst/Possible AU

Disclaimer: These folks are owned by Sorkin, NBC, and Wells. I am only giving them more trouble than they can handle.

Summary: Jed is dying, eighteen months after the end of his presidency.

Author's Note: The series comes out of this first story which I wrote about a year ago (prior to some of the real storylines that have developed since). Subsequent chapters deals with the consequences of Abbey's actions. I know there are some readers who will not be able to read the material and I understand. But for others, feedback will be appreciated.

Chapter 1

"Jed, are you comfortable?"

He shook his head no.

"Can I get you some pain medicine?"

"Abbey, you know it doesn't help anymore." Even that bit of effort brought a grimace to Jed's face.

Abbey just turned and left the room. Why this? Why now? Hadn't he gone through enough? First, with the MS progressing to the point he couldn't move around. He had spent every minute of the last six months in bed.

Then the shocking diagnosis of terminal lung cancer. Abbey always knew that smoking was a bad habit. But she could never get him to stop.

And all this less than two years after the end of his presidency. All of the promises they had made, things they both wanted to do when they left Washington had never happened.

Almost immediately after returning to the farm in January, 2006, Jed started having symptoms of secondary progressive MS. It progressed rapidly. The doctors said the overwhelming stress of the past eight years was the probable cause of such a rapid onset. The terror that they had successfully kept away for the past eight years returned with a vengeance.

Walking quickly became a great effort and it took everything out of him just to go down and up the stairs once a day. Soon it became impossible. By June, Abbey had turned the living room into his bedroom. She had tried to stay with him as much as possible. But soon she had to get a hospital bed and realized that their sleeping together days were over.

They were able to handle the days without too much trouble. But the nights, separate from each other, were the toughest. They had always been together. Even in the White House, they tried not to be apart from each other more than absolutely necessary. And neither one of them got a good night's sleep when they were apart.

During the past eighteen months, the farm had seen its share of visitors. But Jed couldn't handle their pity, so he was very selective whom he allowed to come. Of course, the girls and their families were always welcomed.

Liz and Doug came frequently with Gus. Annie had just started college and tried to come whenever she was at home. Jed was so proud of her. She was a freshman at Norte Dame majoring in economics. She once had told her grandparents that it was a bit unsettling however, to read about her own grandfather in both the history and the economics texts, but she thought she could deal with it. The kids at school didn't know so at least she wouldn't be teased about her having famous relatives.

Ellie came when she could, usually with a male friend of the moment. Both Jed and Abbey figured that she would never get married, just enjoy the opposite sex. Her work came first with her. Abbey had tried to explain to her middle child that she could have a career and a family but somehow Ellie, as usual, refused to follow any accepted norms.

Zoey and Charlie came to the farm whenever they could get away from Washington. Their Christmas wedding in the East Room was the highlight of Jed's final months in office. The flowers, the music, the thrill Jed had gotten when he had walked his baby down the aisle. He had been adamant that he would not use a cane, so he leaned heavily on Zoey down the aisle. But he had made it.

Then four months later, Zoey announced that she was pregnant. Both Jed and Abbey were so excited at the prospect of another Bartlet grandchild. Although by the time Charles Josiah Young came in December of 2006, Jed didn't have the strength to hold him. But he could look at him, and with assistance, touch his perfect features. The baby was definitely a mixture of Charlie and Zoey. It made both Abbey's and Jed's hearts fill with joy to know that their youngest was happy with a family of her own. It made all of this somewhat easier to bear.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Jed's staff tried to come as much as possible but they had such diverse jobs now, it made it almost impossible to have frequent contact.

Santos had won the general election, and he and Leo had been sworn in. However, within months, Leo had died due to a massive heart attack. The doctors had warned him not to take on the stressful job, but he had not listened. Jed had been unable to attend his service, but Abbey had gone and read Jed's eulogy to this best friend of over forty years.

Josh and Donna had finally gotten married. And Donna was expecting a baby any day now. Josh called Jed about once a month and kept him up to date on what was going on with Donna and with his job as Chief of Staff for Santos. Leo's death had hit him particularly hard and he told Jed that the baby, if a boy, would be named after his mentor. Jed had thought it was an excellent idea.

Sam had been reelected to Congress and was thinking about an open Senate seat in California. He had talked to Jed about it a couple of times, but he had yet to make up his mind. Jed encouraged him to think carefully about the responsibilities, but Jed had confidence that whatever Sam chose to do, he would be successful.

Toby and CJ had started their own public relations firm in New York and were immediately successful. Toby had been helping Jed write his memoirs and had come up about once a month to retrieve the tapes that Jed diligently made when he felt like it. The President's memoirs, entitled "What's Next: The Presidency of Josiah Bartlet" was due out in a couple of months. But Toby doubted the President would live long enough to see it.

The staff hated to see their active, vibrant friend in bed, being unable to do the simplest tasks. It was so shocking that the MS progression had gone so fast. Then came the diagnosis of lung cancer about four months ago. The doctors had told Jed and Abbey that it was inoperable and that it was so advanced they gave the President only six months. It had progressed rapidly since then and had spread to his bones and his liver.

The pain had been controlled the first few months, but now nothing seemed to help. Jed refused to have a morphine drip because it made him so fuzzy and he was determined to be alert as long as he could. He wanted to participate in his limited world as long as possible.

"Jed, let me give you a shot."

"No, Abbey. I'll just deal with it. I don't want to sleep. I want to be awake as long as I can."

"Taking a shot is not giving up. It's recognizing that you need some help."

"Maybe later."


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

The stress on Abbey was taking it toll. Her blood pressure was elevated and she couldn't sleep at night.

She had finally hired a housekeeper to come in during the day so she could spend her time with Jed and help him with whatever he needed.

She had been there every minute since Jed's MS started to progress and helped him to adapt to the limitations as they appeared. Then Jed's cancer was diagnosed and she stayed by him. It pained her to see her husband of forty years in such distress.

The images of dancing with him, of loving him, of walking with him were now only distant memories. But her vows had stated in sickness and in health and that was what she was determined to do.

But as Jed's condition worsened, she came to regret more and more her agreement with him that there would be no syringe at the bedside. That agreement had been based on the idea that multiple sclerosis would be the cause of Jed's death, not slow, painful cancer. Everytime he grimaced or bit his lip to control any release of a cry of pain, she died inside a little more. Maybe this was the time to discuss the issue again.

"Jed, I have something to ask you." She sat down by the side of his bed and took his hand.

He opened his eyes, but didn't raise his head from the pillow. His skin was pale and cool to the touch. The nasal oxygen was in his nose, trying to give him some extra strength.

"Yes?"

"I think we need to rethink a decision you made a couple of years ago. Do you know which one?"

"No."

"The one you made about no syringe in the bedside table. I think maybe you should reconsider it. When I agreed to it, we both thought that your MS would be the problem, not cancer. But to see you in such distress now, knowing that nothing else can be done, I think we might want to reconsider."

"Are you trying to get rid of me?"

Abbey grimaced at the macabre statement.

"No. I just want to know if you have changed your mind. Circumstances have changed so dramatically since then. Would you at least reconsider it? You're in such pain and nothing helps. Do you know how much this hurts to see you like this?"

Jed raised his head, but with great effort. "No, Abbey. I have not changed my mind. I want to go when God is ready, not by some artificial means." His head flopped back on the pillow and he closed his eyes.

"I love you Jed. But it hurts me to see you hurt. And to know there's no way out of your suffering is even harder on me. Jed, I'm selfish. I don't want to see you continue in this pain." Abbey's tears were now continuous.

"Jed, please, let's at least talk about it."

"No, Abbey. I will not discuss it any more. You know my thoughts and I refuse to take the easy way out." His breathing became more irregular so Abbey decided to drop the discussion for right now.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

By the next week, Jed was in and out of consciousness. The girls had been called to come home and they were as upset as their mother. All of them knew that it wouldn't be long.

A hospice had finally been called in because Abbey had decided that she couldn't handle this alone. The hospice staff took over his care and his pain treatment. They were aware of the President's wishes and tried to maintain some semblance of wakefulness and at the same time maintain his comfort.

It was a losing game.

Finally, on Abbey's directions and the approval of the Hospice Medical Director, the hospice staff kept the morphine drip at high enough levels that the pain was in complete control. But that meant Jed was unconscious for most of the time. Abbey especially missed the conversations, but they had told each other a lot in the last few weeks.

The press got wind of the President's deteriorating condition and started swarming over the property. Abbey asked CJ to come up and handle them. CJ was grateful that she could be of service.

The former senior staff wanted to come, but Abbey requested only their prayers. After being on public display for so many years, she wanted to cherish the small amount of time she had left with her husband and to do so in private.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Late one night, Abbey was sitting alone by Jed's bed, holding his hand. He had been restless all day. No matter how much pain medication he was given, it didn't stop the twisting and turning.

She decided the time had come.

Tears were cascading down Abbey's face. She gently woke the girls up for them to say goodbye.

As she listened to them, memories flooded her mind. The births. How excited Jed was to hold each one of his daughters in his arms shortly after they were born. How he held their small little hands as they struggled to walk. How he taught each of them how to ride a bicycle. How he held his own hands as he taught them to drive. How he held Liz's and Zoey's arms as he walked them down the aisle. How he held the tiny hands of two of his older grandchildren. How the tiny fingers of his youngest grandson was placed so he could touch them. How they were holding his hands now as he faced his final journey.

Finally, they left to cry alone. Cry for their father. Cry for their Daddy.

Abbey voiced her final goodbye: "My love, you have been that for many, many years. We have faced much together and I am grateful for the time I have had with you. But your time is over. It's time you left the pain. Left the paralysis. Left the frustration. You have suffered enough. I love you so very much. I just hope you know that."

She gave him a gentle kiss.

Abbey opened the drawer next to the bed and took out a long box. Millie had given her a prescription for Morphine, to be used on an intermittent basis. So she filled the syringe with the drug and quietly slipped the needle in the IV port. She slowly infused the Morphine into Jed's body. Pulling the syringe out, she hid it in her pocket.

She placed her hand on his chest in time for his final breath. His final heartbeat.

Soon it was over.

Abbey had disobeyed his final wish. She had made sure that his final hours were the way she needed them to be. She was the one that had to go on living now.

She would have to live with what happened next.

TBC: PART 2 "Consequences"


End file.
